...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
