I hate your face
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
