How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
