I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
