The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
