Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
