so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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