things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Bring me that man meat
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
