the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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