# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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