I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
whose ass print is on the piano?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
