actually, I'm a sock model
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
