maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Life is so much better after having sex.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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