I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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