some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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