I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
