If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
