So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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