I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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