You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
