In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
