Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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