just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
