this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
