brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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