it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
