I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
