is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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