yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
