I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
