Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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