He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
