If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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