Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You were trust falling into bushes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
