While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize