In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she peed on how many people?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
