My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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