How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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