she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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