does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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