when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
