quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
