I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This is my gift to your gina
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
