So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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