to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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