I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
