that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
