We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
