So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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