i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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