And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
