My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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