Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
