i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
