I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
