plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
