1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
