I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
