he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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