Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
