Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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